


Delusion

by LeastExpected_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Points of View, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-04
Updated: 2002-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26273707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist
Summary: By Kassandra.Sam loses Frodo
Relationships: Frodo Baggins/Sam Gamgee
Kudos: 2
Collections: Least Expected





	Delusion

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Amy Fortuna, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Least Expected](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Least_Expected), which has been offline since 2002. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Least Expected collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/leastexpected/profile).
> 
> Disclaimer: All belongs to Tolkien.

something has changed 

you do not know why you wake up this morning with the distinct knowledge that something is not right, but during this long and perilous journey you have learned to listen to your intuition 

you go to a nearby river and wash your feet, hands and face like every morning, recoiling at the cold touch of the water. then you walk back to the camp, not surprised that the men are already awake, discussing things with eagerness, wrapped into a cloud of mutual suspicion 

you have studied them. for days. for nights. it is a lot of use when people think you are a stupid little hobbit who is only good enough to carry the cooking gear. you get to witness a lot of things, because they simply do not think you even pay attention 

you silently watch the early morning activities of everyone while busily building a fire to heat some water. sometimes you wonder who would do it if you were not there anymore. maybe that is why they keep an eye on you and protect you. because without you they would probably starve 

one after the other your fellow hobbits shuffle by, yawning or rubbing their eyes, shooting you looks that mean 'good morning', when heavy tongues do not want to move, yet 

he looks down 

that is when the strange feeling becomes more intense 

* * *

the sun has disappeared behind dark clouds, and you feel a crushing burden settle on your heart. the mines are coming closer, and you just know that this way doom lies 

they all know, and maybe that is why some of them walk closer together then they used to, whispering in hushed tones into each other's ears like - 

  * like lovers, you think, but what would you know about that 



you rest for an hour on the shores of a fathomless lake that makes your skin crawl with horror, and you find that you are unable to eat anything although your stomach is empty and you feel weak and exhausted 

you catch his eyes, and there is something in them that makes you flinch and look away, because it is unnerving in its dishonesty. but at least he looks at you 

to you it seems like he has not done that all day he should know that he cannot hide it, no matter how much he avoids you. he should know. it hurts you that he thinks he could deceive you 

you 

it seems this one word has lost all meaning to him 

* * *

it is warm and moist and creeping over your skin like billions of small, furry-legged spiders. the air is thick and smells like nobody has ventilated for millennia 

you did not think you cold feel any lower, but you do 

the people around you settle down in corners, pressing their bodies down, maybe imagining that close to the rough ground the air is fresher and cooler. in the faint light one face looks more certain than the other that sleep will elude them 

later, much later you find them together in the twilight. you hear them, reminding you of the soft sounds of cats. only much deeper. much more sensual 

you touch yourself and start to cry when you come silently 

in your dreams he belonged to you. when you thought of him you saw it all in front of your eyes. green meadows and lush woodlands and mossy creeks. you smelled the rain in his hair and tried not to stare when he undressed to take a bath 

he was yours 

if only because he was not anybody else's 

maybe that has not just changed today 

maybe you have understood that he will never whisper something into your ear like a lover 

but what would you know about that 

the end


End file.
